Have You (Really) Grown Up?

What is exactly the meaning of growing up?

Does it means to start differentiate which one is good or which one is bad, to be legal to drink alcohol, to be able to go out with friends until midnight and having to put make up on our faces already because we start being aware with our appearances cause that's when we start falling in love?

That's?

When i was a little girl i always wanted to be a grown up. Seeing my mom going to her office wearing her perfect suites, high heels on, make up and lipstick, that was my dream. I can't wait to be a grown up so my parents would let me go out with my friends just like my cousins did with their friends. I always wanted to be able to drive car by myself and putting cool musics on and just, act cool inside the car.  Always wondered when will i start wearing senior high school uniform and start dating a guy just like in a movie. Then again i started wondering when will i enter university and start acting like a real grown ups. And so on, and so on.

I used to think that to be a grown up was just to look good and to behave like a grown ups.

Never thought it would be this hard complex.

When we start being a real grown ups, life becomes full of complexity. Either the complexity are actually made by our own mind or indeed sometimes life and everything in it are so complex.

Growing up can be different meaning for each person since we live our lives differently.

When i said that when we grow up life becomes more complex, if i had to define what i meant about complexity is, that when everythings are mixed up as one, either differences, problems, even love sometimes.

As we grow up, we learn that sometimes things not go as the way that we wanted them to be, we learn that in life there are so many things, so many people, so many thoughts that sometimes no matter we like it or not, we just had to deal with. We learn to accept differences, we've taught about pressures, we learn everything from what we see, what we read, what we hear.


How do i measure my maturity level? By admit that i am now 22 years old and i've got myself considered as a grown up?

I think.. (and based on what i read)

•  We have grown up when we have our way of thinking and we can have our thoughts. We care what we care, we care what others think about us, but most importantly we care we what we think we are best. 

•  We have grown up when we can accept people's opinion wisely instead of getting angry for what we don't agree. We learn to appreciate people because that is how life works.

•   We have grown up when we start differentiate what's good and what's best for ourselves. Not in general, but more for ourselves. We learn to be responsible for every action that we take. 

•  We have grown up when we think, before we act. When we taste our mouth before we spit it out. 

•  We have grown up when we make mistakes and learn from it instead of making the same mistake happens for twice. 

•   We have grown up when we can accept that life is not only bout sweetness, but pain is a part of it too. You might cry and ask why pain coming to you but afterall you think and try to understand what caused the pain and learn from it instead. 

•  We  have grown up when we start acting wiser instead of being selfish. Remember that world is so wide and it's not only us living on it. 

•  We have grown up when we don't hold a grudge. Thinking that when someone hurt you, you gotta hurt them back is just like going around the same wheels over and over again. 

•  We have grown up when we start being able to control our emotions and not being controlled by our emotions. 

•   We have grown up when we can accept every facts in this world. No matter how hard it is. Like, we gotta learn to accept the fact that we all are going to die, someone we love might leave us, something we like might lost and so on. Life can be so bitter sometimes and we just have to deal with it. 

• We have grown up when we learn about love. When we learn that love is something so precious. When we are happy being in love. When we are okay loving someone and not having them love us back cause we know that real love is not demanding. When we are happy seeing the person that we love being happy. When we learn that love is something so sincere and so pure that comes within. When we realize that love is not hurting cause we are not expecting anything from love. Cause we just simply loving without expecting anything. When we don't get hurt cause nothing to get hurted about. Cause we learn about how wonderful love is. Love, is, love. 

•   We have grown up when we understand about life and values. Not about money, but, life values.

Those, some thoughts about how grown ups are actually perhaps live their lifes.


And if i had to be asked but how i think myself, i questioned myself about expectations. I questioned myself a lot about love. I questioned how i was so easy writing that love is not expecting anything in return when me myself expecting so much in return till i get hurt? I questioned my feeling.

I wish i could be a real grown up that i can accept every facts that happens in my world.
I wish i could grow my thoughts and my mind to be more enlighten.
I wish i could learn more about what i have wrote.
I wish i could start loving without expecting anything in return, cause that's how real love works.
I wish my life for the best.

People Come and Go, But We Don't Stop Moving

Well, as much as we hope it weren't so, but this is life. Someone that we have loved with all of our hearts one day can, quite literally, dissapear from our lives the next. It's just simply the matter of time. Not even a death, if i can say, circumstance. Who can possibly take a best friend, a lover or whoever, never to be seen again. So does things, they come and go. Today you might have a lot of money like you can buy a nice car by cash and tomorrow you don't even have money to eat. As simple as that. And as real as that.

Indeed sometimes fact can be scary.

But don't forget that if we lose something, there must be something bigger awaits for us in the future. 

Life keeps on turning, people come and go, but we keep on going.  

What Mother Theresa Said

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”
― Mother Teresa

Remember This

Hey.
I feel kinda sad never updated anything here in so so long period of time. The internet connection at home was super sucks even it has been fixed but it screws still so, anyways, i'm in the middle of my thesis working right now but i just somehow gotten myself so excited about saying something here. Don't worry, dear thesis i'm gonna go back to you as soon as i done this. I'm on my chapter 4 already anyway so please God please give me super mega boom power to get it done as super soon as Your possible way to make it (and oh, my struggle ofcourse). 

Alright. 
Sooo lately i feel so lucky cause i am surrounded with great great inspiring people which they are my friends from exchange youth alumni. It's the second year i am blessed to be a part of them and sharing our learnings and learn and learn. I am not that kind of person who learn (much) by reading, or by watching news or well if i can say, from mass media then. Well, i read newspaper every morning i wake up, i watch news on TV every night before i sleep, the thing is i don't read book that much. Which is everybody knows that book really helps you to grow and to learn things that you want to learn since book are so complete though. But this part about saying books are helping to learn and to grow somehow i found it a bit different in me. I mean, here's the thing. As i told you before that i am currently surrounded by great people, by any means that sharing things and learn from each others experiences are for me, the best learning-effective-not boring-method ever. 

Isn't it?

I mean, here, to communicate is human's way to keep living and to socialize with their surroundings, right? You can read book, you can watch TV, but in the end you will still communicate anyways either way you talk or you communicate non verbally, doesn't matter. But as i said, learning by communicate is the most effective way to learn is because you do it naturally even sometimes you learn without you intend to do it. So it's just like the more you talk, the more you communicate, the more information you can get. And it's obvious. 

So what i want to emphasize here is that don't be afraid to talk, to ask, and to share things that you feel comfortable to share with.

Cause every place is a school and every person is a teacher. 

Have a good day!

It's Good Cause I Choose To Make It That Way ☺

 Today another start has come again..

I woke up this morning and i'm telling myself from the first that today is going to be good. 

Then i started myself smiling.

By that i know that the strongest power in this entire universe is come within,

from you yourself. 

So why not keep the good power burn, every single day? 

XO, Meilia

Things Aren't Quite Like What They Used To Be

♫ Cause this pain i feel it won't go away, and today i'm officially missing you..♫

People come, people go.

Life brings you down, life gets you up.

I rarely talk about love for serious this far cause i just somehow narrowly think that talks about love seems so serious and spoil, and it's all about blue feeling, sadness, heart broken and so on. 

But excuse me this time to talk about it, i wonder what is love actually?

I had a good relationship with a guy that i once made me feel like i could spend everyday with him without feeling bored at all. You know that kind of feeling you feel when you're around someone and you feel like you can be who you are and you can do anything without feeling afraid that he'll leaves you because you do silly things, you look ugly and stupid? I had that. I thought loving is a feeling of being loved unconditionally.

For my own thinking, commitment is not something that we need to make that official. Like, choosing a right date for our anniversary and you will ask will you be mine and i say yes, and we're officially being a couple, that day where we confess our feeling we mark that as our special date. No, i'm not that kind of person. For me, having someone who always be there for me 24 hours/day and having him to love me unconditionally, i love him back in return, for me that's enough. 

But maybe not everyone agree that way.

I had this thing going on nicely until realizing that relationship without commitment is like a dream without goals. It's like walking without direction, just keep going and if it's dead end, then we're dead. As hard as it sounded and so we're indeed dead.

If one person leaves, how could a relationship stays?

Things are never be as easy as a wink when one person left and just like a sudden everythings changing. Life's change, habits that we gotta left behind, everything. 

How come one simple problem could turn to a very dramatical separation? I asked.  

The anwer is yours, either it's mine yet i'm still questioning. Again, commitment that never came out from our mouth? Broken promises, or what? 

One person made me loves and i don't demand, i get hurted but i won't cry. Thought love is fair, it will be nicer in time. True love will find their way. Path. Destiny. God's way. I put my faith with them. 

Positivity, To Read

“When we lose one blessing, another is often most unexpectedly given in its place.”
― C.S. Lewis
  

“The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.”
― Henry Ward Beecher 

“Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough”
― Oprah Winfrey

“Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.”
― Mahatma Ghandi

“Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation.”
― Michael Jordan 

“Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.”
― Steve Maraboli

“It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.”
― Ellen DeGeneres